Submission: Obama the Killer

President Obama was a serial killer. He was staying at a house on the woods and decided to sneak out at night to stake out the home of his next intended victims. He got chased through the woods by a local cop played by John Goodman. Goodman eventually tackled Obama, but was so embarrassed to discover that he had captured the President that he just let Obama go and slunk off, and then Obama cut off John Goodman’s head.

So Obama chopped up several victims and stitched them back together, but in new arrangements, so person A’s head was on person B’s body with person C’s arms and so forth. The victims were pleased — “this IS more interesting!,” one chopped-up young woman said of her new arrangement.

At that point I woke up momentarily. When I went back to sleep, the killer was now my housemate Sarah, who cheerfully told me her plan to tempt me with some sort of dark magic. I spent the rest of the dream fleeing to Rhode Island.

-Ampersand